Robert – Cox Family Memories.com

Dad and Vickie

Lord knows my 22 years w/ Dad we’re unique (kind of like me). There were bad things and good things, and I’ll try to concentrate on the good.

When I think about Dad I think of croquet and horseshoes. I now have my own croquet set which I play by myself to get some sun. I’m too damn old to even think about “laying out” in the sun. I can work in the sun and play in the sun, but that’s as much I can do now.

For about 20 years I’ve had a respectable garden . (I had a patch in Xenia, but it wasn’t very big.) I think about all the years we “had” to work in the massive gardens Dad always tended. I swear there was an acre of potatoes that the kids had to pick up and store for the winter after Dad shoveled up the hills. It didn’t hurt any of us, but it was grusome at the time! I am thankful for the work ethic I have now. Too many young people have no clue what it’s like to truly WORK!

I still didn’t like Dad much when I married Jerry Bush. We actually had a moment during the reception and I was so afraid he would fall into the Bushs’ pool…he thankfully didn’t. I was 18 1/2 when I got married. I’ve done that a few times since, BUT the funniest thing was about 35 years later (at Mom’s funeral) I didn’t even recognize Jerry when he was standing right in front of me. It really made me wonder what the heck I mourned about for 10 years after we split…the first and the second time, but I did get a carat diamond ring to remember him by. Ah, memories!

I may add to this later, but now I have to get out to the garden and try to make Dad proud of what I learned so many years ago.

Love,

Vickie

PS: I remember not ever saying I love you or hugging and kissing the ones I truly care about until Dad died…now it’s just an automatic feeling and greeting or good-byeing and that is a very good thing!

Happy Birthday to Daddy (Robert Floyd Cox)

Wonder how old Daddy was here? Looked pretty snappy in that scarf. Then in 1960 in his work clothes.

Daddy and Mommy at Thelma and Tommy’s wedding.

Can you believe Daddy would have been 91 years old today. He was born June 23, 1918 and died November 12, 1974. Gee that means he was only 56 years old when he died. That seems so young to me now that I am older.

Wonder what he would have been like and what would he have thought about today’s “goings on”. Although Daddy had his foibles, there could never be a more generous man. I remember many occasions when he would take in another kid (usually a friend of one of his own kids), and let them stay as long as they needed. He gave clothes and food to many strangers. Lord knows, we were not the wealthy types – few were poorer, but it seems like we always had more than enough of everything we needed, so he was always willing to help somebody else. I think that is why most of us are always a bit too willing to help each other even when we probably shouldn’t.

I vaguely remember living in Kentucky in a relatively nice size house with bedrooms and locking doors, etc. That was in Paintsville, Kentucky. I do remember Larry being born there. Shirley and I were in a room next to where Mommy was giving birth, assisted by the midwife. The door was locked, and we tried to peek through the keyhole, but couldn’t see a darn thing. I think Daddy worked in a coal mine there. I wish I knew more about that time frame. I do recall taking naps in what I think was a large room with an A frame ceiling.

I have some vague memories of our move from Kentucky to Fairborn, Ohio. I seem to remember us older kids were in the back of a covered truck. We stopped at some point and Daddy bought us some of those candy ice cream cones with the colored marshmallow tops. I think I was about six years old. I think we first moved into the middle cabin/house that Mr. Holton rented out.

Then at some point, we moved to the 2nd cabin which was just a bit larger. That is where Gary was born. I can still remember him in the basinett with Josephine Cole there. We were told Gary was a “blue baby”.

Then after a while we moved into the largest Holton property. WOW – we had a large living/bedroom, a kitchen and a very small back bedroom. I can still picture that house. We had two full size beds in the living room along with a couch and a stove. Maybe there were other pieces of furniture that I can’t remember. By this time I must have been about 10 years old. I remember holding Vickie as an infant on my chest as I laid on the couch. Then I remember that tiny back bedroom being wall to wall beds at night. Roll-away beds were a must.

Bobby, Vickie, and Martha were born in that house.

I remember that we usually had a boarder (an extra person who was supposed to pay for his keep) plus all those kids.

Anyway, Daddy worked in construction or some kind of outdoor work. Mommy always packed lunches for Daddy and what ever boarder we had. I do remember Mommy’s brother, Uncle Woodie, as one of our boarders.

That larger Holton house is the one in which we lived when Larry, Carolyn Brewer, and I were walking on a path near the rail road track to or from the Fairborn park. (Everybody from Wrightview Heights walked that path. We were grabbed by some man, but got a way. One day that same man drove up in front of the house while I was out on the front step polishing some white shoes. I nearly broke my neck getting in the house through that screen door. When we told Daddy about the guy grabbing us, Daddy took out after that car, but the guy was gone and we never saw it or him again. Daddy was so upset that we had not told him about that guy earlier. He was ready to fight for us. Of course, I don’t appreciate fighting, but I knew he would have fought for us.

He loved his kids no matter what. And yes he believe in disciplining and whipping those who crossed him or did wrong.

My only recollection of getting a swat was when I found a quarter and Daddy asked me if I took it. That hurt my feelings and I started to cry. I cried easily in those days. So Daddy said, “I’ll give you something to cry about and he whacked me on the but with his hand.” Sure enough I had something to cry about – not a hurt rear end, but real hurt feelings. That was my only memory of physical discipline. However, the discipline came with a look or a word. You just knew kids did not sass or talk back. I think that bit of fear kept me from getting into trouble as a teenager. I do appreciate the way I was raised, even though few people today believe in disciplining kids at all – thus kids are sassing parents and telling them what they can do, taking drugs, never happy and all that. I was poor and disciplined with fear and so thankful for it. Until the day our parents died, I always felt a deep sense of respect for them and could never imagine talking back or speak harshly to them even though sometimes I’m sure I wanted to – even as an adult, I would not.

Sometimes when I go to the casino, I think to myself how much he would have enjoyed them. He probably would have enjoyed those free drinks a little too much. I know he would have liked the craps tables. He used to roll the dice at home.

He used to enjoy those cigarettes with his coffee. It is funny now, but I used to get so perturbed when Daddy would smoke and talk as he stood right beside the chair where I was curling Mommy’s hair. It always burned my eyes and sometimes I would have to go outside to clear them. In those days, no one thought of telling a parent anything like that. Smoking was not a NO-NO and I would not want to hurt his feelings.

I remember waking up to Daddy whistling and/or singing to the radio tunes. He loved Patsy Cline and that whole era of country singers. Often he would break out in a tap dance.

I remember so much more, but I must get packed for the trip to Ohio for Marnee’s wedding, so I had better save the rest for later.

So Happy Birthday DADDY!

Your Oldest daughter, Myrtle

Robert Cox with Brothers and Sisters

Here are pictures of Daddy, Robert Cox, with his brothers and sisters. The old one is circa 1925. Line up is Robert, Ethel, Edra, Loyd, Myrtle.

The line up as adults (1970) is Loyd, Ethel, Myrtle, Robert, Edra, Edison. The picture as adults was taken when all were together for the funeral of Edison’s son who was killed in a construction accident. He was digging in a ditch which collapsed in on him.

Edison was not shown on the old picture. He was the youngest child and was given up for adoption to the Laneys.

First time mowing on a riding mower!

I remember Grandpa Cox being parked in the drive way of our house when the school bus would pull up. He would show up on Friday afternoon’s and pick me up. He would secretly call my Dad(Carl) the night before. He did this about every other weekend. I would run straight over to the car, except he would be in the house, I would then run in the door yelling, “GRANDPA ARE YOU READY TO GO”. Mom would always make us change out of our school clothes before we did anything. I would not only change my clothes but I would also come out of my bedroom with my packed bag. Cara Leta would never go, and Cassie wasn’t born until 1974. So I thought it was GREAT!! Every weekend that I got to go Grandpa’s he would mow his yard. He would let me ride with him. Then he got nervy and one day he let me mow. This was out at the Cornstalk house. Dad would always call when he got home from work on Friday night and say that he would pick me up on Saturday. But if Dad had to do a side job I knew I wasn’t going home until after the big family dinner that Grandma would make on Sunday. Anyway, I thought, “OH BOY!! I get to mow”. Of course, Grandpa’s mower had the old clutch, so I would kill it when I would take off, so he would get it going and hop off. This was my very first time mowing by myself. Well, I would get done mowing, park the mower up by the house and run inside. Grandpa and I would sit down on the couch and watch roller derby. Grandma Goldie would sit there with us. We always ended up playing a game of Sorry. Well, Grandpa took the cellophane off of something. I don’t remember what, but anyway he gave it to me and told me to go throw away the trash he had in his hand. So I took it and threw it away. I came skipping back into the room and grandpa looked at me real funny. I said what are you looking at? He said did you throw that away? I said yes that’s what you told me to do. He just started laughing. He said you better go look again. So I went running back in the kitchen and looked in the trash can. Low and behold there was a $5.00 bill laying in the trash can. WOW!! I GOT PAID FOR MOWING GRANDPA’S YARD. He thought that was hilarious. So everytime I mow even now that I am 44 years old, I think of him and smile.

Roller Skating with Dad and Jeff, my Fractured Coccyx – such pain!

Daddy used to take us roller skating at the Fairborn Skating Rink. I remember him whizzing around the rink whistling. My goodness, he could do all kinds of fancy things on those skates – going backwards, turning around and all that stuff. Dad would often take us by the hand and try to help us get better or at least more confident. He did seem to love all that. Wonder where on earth he learned to do that.
I remember the different skating sessions being called out over the loud speaker – “all boys skate”, “all girls skate”, “couples only”, etc, etc. The lights were often dimmed and the lighted ball changed colors as we skated around or… some of us tried.

Well.. being the Aunt, I thought it would be fun helping little 3 year old Jeff skate. We got the tiny little skates on him and stood him up. I thought it would be a good idea to put him in front of me, with me kind of bending over and holding him under the arms so we could teach him to skate. I think we got about 5 or 6 feet oozing along the edge when all of a sudden my feet went straight out in front of me strattling around Jeff and kerplunk right on to my butt. Oh my goodness!

Don’t ask me if Jeff skated on out in front of me! Lordee, who knows. I remember Daddy coming along to help me up, but I don’t recall what happened to Jeff. Maybe he went on to skate the whole way around!

I had pain I couldn’t believe. Found out I had fractured my coccyx (tail bone). Nothing much could be done about it, but try not to sit flat down, and in those days, one never much thought of taking pain meds. But I had pain for about a year.

So, here’s what I learned about my fractured tail bone. (Remember I was going to be a nurse, so these things interested me.)

Causes of coccyx fracture include:

Falling on the buttocks—Skating and other activities that lead to falls in the seated position often contribute – Yes that fit the scenario!

(I think Martha might recall a fractured coccyx from childbirth – but that wasn’t my cause.)

Sitting can be very uncomfortable after a coccyx fracture.

Suggestions to make sitting less painful include:

Sit on an air cushion or doughnut pad.
Alternate between sitting on one side of the buttock or the other.
Try sitting on a hard chair. Sinking into a soft chair sometimes increases the pressure on the coccyx. (Maybe that is the reason to this day I prefer hard chairs and I tend to sit straight up almost on the front edge of a wooden chair.)
Slouch to move your weight forward and off the coccyx. Note: This advice holds only until you are well enough to sit properly again.
Sit on a telephone book, with the area of the coccyx hanging off the posterior portion of the phone book.

Yes that all fit the picture – but that pain is still a memory – but did Jeff learn to skate? If so, I guess it was all worth it. I thought it was fun at the time. Now, I think if I fell on my tail bone, I might die! “Not really”.

Fishing with carl wiliams

carl wiliams and i decided we were going to sneak into the water treatment plant. we had been fishing in the mad river, but decided we wanted to fish in the concrete ponds. we had to crawl under a fence every time we caught a fish to take it off the line, becacse the security guard would see us if we stood up. we crawled back and forth until we caught about twenty. that night dad said he tried to sneak in there and they threw him out, we sure enjoyed them fish.